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It's so sad that work just gets in the way of your busy life. Yet you make it so easy on yourself, getting up and walking away from your desk 30 minutes before your break, going to get takeout (somehow a means to justify your leaving early), then getting back to your desk 30 minutes after your break is supposed to end. Oh, and need I mention your having to go home during work for something you "forgot," or your sitting there for 45 minutes staring at Facebook or Myspace? We're watching...
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Stop complaining about every half-naked woman on TV & how every commercial, reality show, game show, & TV series promotes sex! Maybe you should try getting some! Stop trying to act all religious! We all know you're a horny bastard & you pump metal all the time to attract chicks, yet you carry a bible everywhere you go. You look like Popeye b/c you're 5'0" & your arms are bigger than the rest of your body! I don't care that you dyed your hair, believe me I wasn't looking!
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This is to the Neanderthal Man that walked up to the men's room stall while I was in it, and when realizing it would not open, continued to stand there and shake the door, wondering why it wouldn't open! Hmmm...perhaps because someone was IN THERE? I finally had to tell you the space was taken! A little common sense, please!
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You wonder why you aren't losing weight? Maybe you should get rid of the secret stash of candy bars in your desk drawer. Yeah bitch, I saw them when you asked me to get that file for you the other day. You sit and eat power bars and chug bottles of water to the point you are in the restroom more than your desk during the work day to piss. Stop fooling yourself, you will always be a fat lazy pig!
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Memo to the idiot that left an OPEN can of Red Bull in the office fridge door: Clean up the mess! It created spillage every time the door was opened today! A Red Bull-flavored sandwich was SO just what I was looking forward to! Either drink that crap down and get your "wings," or don't open it!
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You look like an ugly female hobbit
You have the personal skills of dried dog crap
Your glasses are 2 inches thick and make your eyes look gigantic.
You will never get married or date a humanoid man.
You never speak in complete sentences and gasp horribly with your asthmatic lungs whenever you laugh.
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If you want to have a meeting, go someplace besides right next to my desk. I have a hard time concentrating on my work when you are discussing who is or isn't going to the employer sponsered fitness program and which projects you need to finish. We have a conference room. Use it.
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Why must you constantly act like a 13 year old girl who complains, pouts and whines to her girlfriends at a volume that isn't even in the remote vicinity of being considerate of those of us around you? You're neither young, nor are you cute. Whining at any age is unattractive.
Reality check, we work in cubicle hell. The partitions between us are not sound proof. I (nor those around me) want to hear your tantrum about how Excel hates you. Excel doesn't hate you, we do!
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Your lies are getting embarrassing for me to even listen to. Those pictures you have are of girls' myspace profiles, blatantly stolen. Your life is so miserable that you create this fantasy world. If all of your experience qualifies you as the "best" broker, then why have you solely been responsible for over 250k in errors over the past 2 years? Do you honestly think they'd ever downsize and trust only you on the night desk? Your writing/math levels show that you don't have a diploma. LIAR.
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I haven't even sat down and unpacked my briefcase, and you're already telling me useless news and traffic tidbits, asking me about the weather at my house, and being your generally annoying self. Would you kindly give me some damn breathing room? Also, stop putting literature on my desk that you "Thought I might be interested in." Finally, stop barging into my cubicle and looking out my window to see what's going on down the street. There is an empty cubicle right next me!
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