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If you want to fish through the trash looking for recyclable material, go ahead, even though it's not your job. Just don't complain about how everyone does not throw out their trash correctly and expect me to give a fukk. And stop touching the house donuts so you can get to the donut box for proper recycling, you fukkin weirdo.
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When you drink from the drinking fountain every 10 minutes, you sound like a damn elephant sucking water from a river; quit taking so many water breaks and just go back to your desk where your other annoying habits are out of my sight.
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Every time you pick up the phone, I wish I could cut off my own ears. I would rather risk bleeding to death than listen to your stupid laugh that only comes out after you've made your own "joke" that doesn't even make sense. I might as well cut my own ears off b/c your laugh is so piercing that it will probably blow out my ear drums anyway. Everyday, I have to put on my headphones and blast my music so I don't have your stupid chuckle that makes me want to stand up and yell "SHUT THE FU*& UP!"
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You cannot walk without sounding like a horse. You throw your leg out in front of you and when you step forward and your foot falls to the ground, it sounds like a horse. CLOP CLOP CLOP. And when you wear backless shoes? The WORST. Your heels drag on the ground and then THWACK they fly up and smack your heel. I can hear you coming down the hall from about 50 yards away. Didn't your momma ever teach you to not to drag your feet? For a woman you sure walk like a 300 lb. linebacker.
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Showing up on time with a big cheery face does not mean you're ready to work. And just because there's a holiday this month, doesn't mean you should keep your Easter bunny scrub in our closet, just so you can select it every damn day. WASH THAT SHIT!
And no, you can't "teach" me anything. "I do it like this" with your big arms waving around to illustrate while you brag about all the useless crap you came up on at the dollar store . . . Shut up!!!!!
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My coworker has THE worst writing! It's like I'm looking at documents that a 5 year old wrote! My other co-worker thinks that notes should be written about EVERYTHING!! I don't care if someone called and hung up. And then one writes notes telling everyone what to do! If you have enough time to write a 3 page note on post-its, you have more than enough time to do it yourself! You're supposed to be at work for 3 hours or less, wtf do you do besides write notes?!!
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Anyone else have that co-worker that got hired maybe 6 months before you did and thinks that that automatically your boss? She not only tells me what to do about 18 times a day even though I have the same job title that she does, but she points at me when she does it! Seriously, i would like to break your fingers and throw away your notepad that you have to record EVERYTHING that has ever happened!! And I don't care how you do things, just get them done!!
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One of my co-workers has an annoyingly happy disposition. ABSOLUTELY nothing bothers her!! She will ask you "how are you?" at least once an hour for every hour you're at work. Really?! I just told you that I'm doing good an hour ago, is something magically going to change within an hour time span?? It's not only the "how are you" questions, but a "how was your night?" "how was your morning?" "how'd the last phone call go?" "how did cleaning go?" REALLY??!! How the hell do you think they went?!
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Why is it that everytime I walk through the office, I have to see your big bug eyes staring at me? Oh, and it's not just me, everyone in the office has experienced this and said something to me about it. You look like a damn psycho. STOP IT!
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Bitch, you may think everyone in the office needs to hear you as you potificate on the phone about this or that, but get this bitch nobody wants to hear your loud, scratchy, annoying-ass voice all the time. You stuck up turtle-neck, bug-eyed bitch! SHUT THE FUCC UP!!!
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